


awful sweet

by sparrow_2344



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Melchior is trying his best, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, he probably also has depression, melchior isnt a bad person here, moritz has anxiety, moritz really needs a psychiatrist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:28:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrow_2344/pseuds/sparrow_2344
Summary: tw: suicide/self harm referenced"moritz woke up still entangled in both the warm bedsheets and melchior's arms. the clock read 4:18. he was surprised melchior wasn't awake.he felt melchior's breath on the back of his neck. moritz wasn't sure if he liked being held by melchior. it felt right, safe but the thought of being in someone's arms every night almost scared him."
Relationships: Melchior Gabor/Moritz Stiefel
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	awful sweet

moritz woke up still entangled in both the warm bedsheets and melchior's arms. the clock read 4:18. he was surprised melchior wasn't awake.

he felt melchior's breath on the back of his neck. moritz wasn't sure if he liked being held by melchior. it felt right, safe but the thought of being in someone's arms every night almost scared him. 

moritz didn't actually believe melchior actually loved him, it was probably just so he could sleep with someone. moritz did love melchior, if it was a platonic or romantic - hell, even sexual - feeling, but he knew he loved melchior. 

he knew he loved melchior since the night after his attempt. after ilse ran off crying and moritz had shouted her name as loud as he could, melchior was alerted to the fourteen year old boy hesitantly drawing a silver revolver to his chest. 

he remembered the sound of melchior's voice as he calmly shushed him, telling him that everything would be alright, throwing the damned revolver into the nearby river. 

he remembered the feeling of melchior's lips to his palm when he tried to tell melchior that he wouldn't be cured of whatever he had by just saying that everything will be okay.

he remembered the sound of melchior confirming that he did know that he couldn't save moritz with sweet nothings and kisses but he was going to at least try to help moritz in some way.

moritz knew this wouldn't last for long. none of their relationship would last, so he might as well get himself out before melchior broke his heart.

he forced himself out of his friend's tight grip, pressed a very small kiss to the bridge of melchior's nose and stumbled to the shared bathroom between the three upstairs bedrooms.

moritz opened up the medicine cabinet, stepping onto his tiptoes, and trying to find whatever pills or medicine he could. there was nothing, which was unusual for a medicine cabinet.

"where are they?" moritz bit his lip.

"moved them," 

"melchi?" 

moritz turned around. melchior stood with his back leant against the doorframe. the blond sighed, giving moritz a tiny smile.

"moved them because i knew you would go looking eventually and i don't want you to hurt yourself again,"

"why do you care?" moritz kept trying to find something.

"because i love you?" melchior took a few steps towards the other boy.

"yeah, of course you do," moritz mumbled.

"mo, baby-"

"don't,"

"why are you looking now, mo?"

"because i knew this-" moritz gestured to both of them, "-wouldn't last and so i decided i'd go in the way that would break my heart least,"

"did you not consider my feelings?"

"just leave, melchi,"

melchior pulled moritz's hand from the cabinet, pulling it to his chest. moritz tried jerking his hand back, but melchior's grip was firm. melchior hadn't held moritz so tight before. melchior had also never called moritz "baby" either. moritz had convinced himself in the five seconds that this was all some manipulation technique.

"moritz, hey, look at me please," 

"melchi,"

melchior reached to pull moritz's face in line with his, but the noirette flinched away.

"look at me, baby,"

"don't call me that if you don't mean it,"

"moritz... you're making no sense, why don't you understand that i actually love you?"

"do you?"

"moritz stiefel, i wouldn't have moved those pills if i didn't actually love you,"

"really, melchi?"

moritz watched as melchior's face grew more concerned, his eyes looking more sad. 

"melchi?" moritz asked gently.

melchior tried to grab moritz's cold hand, causing him to flinch away. 

"sorry," moritz said under his breath.

"don't you dare apologise," melchior sighed, his voice shaky, "you have nothing to be sorry for,"

moritz hesitated, "are you okay?"

"y'know, no?" melchior crossed his arms again, "my boyfriend is trying to kill himself, and he doesn't believe i love him,"

"you don't want me dead?"

"again, moved all the meds that could possibly be deadly and all the sharp objects to somewhere where you wouldn't find them,"

"clingy, much?"

melchior scoffed, "clingy? moritz, i love you,"

moritz's voice was almost as shaky as melchior's, "i.. i'm sorry, melchior,"

"you never call me melchior,"

moritz's eyeline fell down to the floor, but his face was immediately pulled back up.

"what's wrong?" melchior asked gently, "you look like you're about to cry,"

"you look like you're about to cry,"

melchior sighed, "maybe i am, but you're more important right now, baby,"

moritz hesitated again "sorry for being such a mess," 

"moritz, you're not a mess, c'mere," melchior said softly, threading his arms around moritz, "i love you so much, baby,"

moritz buried his head into melchior's shoulder, "i kinda love you, maybe, probably, you're cute, i guess,"

"you're the cute one,"

"i'm really not,"

the two boys stayed in that position for at least five minutes, moritz being the one to pull away.

"mo, are you still... sad?" melchior asked, falling back to the doorframe.

"don't do sadness," moritz mumbled, "but yeah,"

"do you want to watch stupid horror movies instead of...y'know..?"

"that.. sounds okay, i guess,"

"sure, let's do that, then,"

**Author's Note:**

> im still writing melchritz :/  
> i wrote this after having a bad day at school  
> so yeah


End file.
